Most are aware of the Disney character Prince Charming. He is the love interest of Cinderella. He is handsome, kind, respected, knows how to sway others, and just an all around wonderful guy. He has the it factor. He is an icon of Americana. It is his charm that gives him both his name, and his it-ness.
Charm is the “power of pleasing or attracting.” Charm is a character trait that a leader can use to impact and influence others. Some people seem to be specifically endowed with charm, or a level of it-ness. But lest you be discouraged that you do not believe you have the charm gene, know it’s not too late to ramp up your charm.
Travis Bradberry, a columnist for inc.com, believes you can learn to win over audiences. In his article, “4 Things That Remarkably Charming People Do,” he outlines how you can influence others.
- Steer away from small talk: “Chatting about the weather won’t make you memorable. Speaking about something more tangible is how you create relationships.” Ask questions. Hear what interests others. When you make it about them, you make an impression.
- Don’t try too hard: “Irresistible [charming] people aren’t trying to be the life of the party.” A remarkable person is not the center of the social universe. She is a part of the constellation with a desire to blend with others. She understands it is not about her, but others.
- Always see the silver lining: “Learn to view problems as obstacles, not as the end of the world.” I recently viewed the movie Bridge of Spies. Rudolph Able, a captured Russia spy, was being defended by James Donovan. Able seemed to show no concern or worry over his impending punishment. Donovan asked, “Aren’t you worried.” Able responded, “Would it help if I was?” This was his silver lining perspective. And, I have to say, he exuded a bit of charm.
- Smile: “Has smiling ever made your day worse?” A smile often acts as a warmer. A smile given often provides a sense of well-being to the one it is offered to. The same smile instills a soothing affect to the one giving it. Mother Teresa said, “We shall never know all the good a simple smile can do.”
You may not believe you are inherently charming, but you can still be a charmer. How will you charm others today?
